– able

all my life i found it ridiculous when people say “you are not able to love others if you don’t love yourself.” because i spent most of my time being alive hating myself, but oh my god i loved alot of people. i loved my mother, how she hugs me a little longer when im saying goodbye. i loved my father, how he subtly ask me if im okay. i loved my 5th grade english teacher, as she teaches me life is more than pleasing others. i loved and loved, and oh god i loved you. i hated every piece of myself but i loved you.

i loved so dangerously that i learned to take risks i wasn’t even sure of. i loved you so much that everything else was a blur. i loved you so much that i chocked you with all possible ways to show you i loved. i loved and loved, or at least i thought i did.

till i learned, depending all your self worth on a person isn’t love. burdening someone with the responsibility of making you happy isn’t love. making them grasp desperately for air isn’t love.

you’ll not love them in the way we are supposed to be. as you’ll be holding them, but also holding them back. you’ll love, but at what cost? for not only you’re hurting them, but also yourself. so yes, you still can love, but you’ll never love right.